Now before you declare Chlo mean and nasty, let me explain. Chloe is a cat. Not just any cat, she is THE cat. The only cat that we will ever have if she has her way.
And as a cat she has sworn to uphold some basic cat rules:
- Be affectionate only when you want to, and feel free to bite the hand that pets you the second you stop feeling affectionate.
- Feel free to wake your human anytime, day or night for the above affection. You say your humans don't wake easily? Do as Chlo and howl, jam your body through the teeny tiny spaces in the window blinds, flick your tail across their face or simply ram your head into any exposed part of their body.
- Any container of water placed in the house if yours for the drinking, or knocking over if you prefer.
- Actually, everything in the house is yours- feel free to treat it as such. Also, no area is off limits to you. Demand your human give you access to any closed room or closet. How dare they try to use the bathroom alone.
- Never feel obligated to catch a mouse or kill a bug. But be sure to watch with bemusement if you owner runs around screaming in an attempt to do either.
- A laptop, newspaper, paperwork or books laid out in front of your human are there for you to sit on. Do this as often as possible.
- Dogs are on this earth for you to tease and hiss at. They serve no other purpose.
- Oranges are poison. Run when one is peeled.
- Does the chair has a pillow you don't like on it? Do the bedsheets need washing? Do you hate Dad's Adidas flip flops? Puke on them, works for Chloe.
So I forgive Miss Chloe what might seem like rudeness since she is just following those cat rules. Plus she is the softest, snuggliest creature alive (when she wants to be).
And once she even sat on my lap while Davey was on it. Just the once. But don't tell the cat authorities, she would so be out of the club.